Lessons We Learned When We Were 21

Briana likes to clean.  Abby likes to cook. Briana’s mom watches Lifetime Movie Network.  Abby’s mom yells at squirrels.  Even though one can take classes on “stress relief,” only you can figure out what makes your blood pressure go from AHH THE WORLD IS COMING TO AND END to ahhhhh, that’s better.  Figure our what slows your breathing and stick to it. We’ve found that 21 is old enough to know yourself well enough to know what makes you tick and what makes you feel warm, calm, and fuzzy.  Use that information for all its worth. 

Note: If you feel you haven’t yet found your own path to happiness, here are some suggestions to try out….

1. Boy hugs

2. Meditation

3. Nail Painting

4. Hulu

5. Wine

6. Sex

7. Laughter

8. Sleep

9. Time with pets

10. Trash television

11. Chocolate

12. Making lists

“Our morals and our principles are what make us men. No woman is worth
the forsaking of staunchly held beliefs. The one exception is when
everything you despise is written in rhinestones across her back. When
you hold her close to you, you feel those two words you were
taught to hate start to dig into your chest. And as they dig into your
chest, you sense them seeping into your heart. Sometimes when a girl is special enough, magical enough even, it is ok to accept a concept you were brought up to despise. Sometimes, she is just worth it.”

Thanks, Dave. Abigail really likes you too. 

Stop telling us that no one actually needs large condoms, that it is just a ploy designed by the male-run hegemony to make men feel better about themselves. You’re just jealous, okay.

Note: Condom Companies, please make more options for large condoms. Thanks!

A couple of weeks ago, Abigail, Dave, Briana, and Yoni went to Portsmouth, New Hampshire for a winter adventure. It’s a beautiful city and it was a beautiful night. They walked through museums and the town and enjoyed the stars and the air and the lights in the trees. What was trying to be another example of Friendmance has turned into another lesson all together.

If you are friends with Abigail or Dave on facebook, you may have noticed that they have been hash-tagging their statuses with #MLIP or My Life is Portsmouth. We have decided to make the word Portsmouth synonymous with the word “awesome”. We encourage you to tag your status this way as well, as we are trying to start a linguistic revolution.

But here’s why this matters…

We have been increasingly realizing that the people you surround yourself with affect your mood and your attitude. When you surround yourself with negative, lazy people you may feel negative and lazy yourself. When you surround with laughter, you find it easier and natural to laugh and smile and be joyful. This may sound simple and logical, but it is often difficult to execute. In order to be the best version of yourself, it is not just something you work on internally, it requires an awareness of who you surround yourself with externally. 

This takes actively thinking about who makes you happiest and who has qualities that you admire. One of the reasons Portsmouth worked out so nicely was because we chose the perfect group of people for the adventure.

Abigail and Briana would like to encourage you to surround yourself with the people who make you the happiest, the most productive, make you laugh the loudest, make you smile the broadest, think the deepest, feel the strongest, and bring out the qualities in you you like the most. 

Eating is a good thing. It keeps you alive. You know what’s even better than eating? Eating full meals!

Let’s all define a full meal. A meal typically involves a plate, on top of which sits 2-4 different food items, preferably from different food groups. This plate of food is generally at a warm or hot temperature. 

We know it is difficult to eat full meals, especially in college or during finals, but here are some incentives. 

Eating Full Meals…

….improves mood.

….makes life seem more manageable.

…breaks up tasks and the flow of the day.

…forces you to take time to recuperate.

… provides incentive to cook full meals for yourself or others, which is really relaxing.

…with people at scheduled times, makes you be social even on days when you are writing an essay

…lowers blood pressure, calms you down, raises body temperature, settles your stomach, induces regular bowel movements, increases libido….ok, we’re not doctors so we have no proof that eating full meals does any of these things, but we have a hunch.

When you’re 21 and poor and you need to stock a new kitchen from the ground up, it may seem like the best idea is to get the cheapest options available. (Chefmate Teflon Kitchen-In-A-Box, we’re lookin’ at you…) Next thing you know, you’re less than one semester in and the teflon coating is flaking off into your spaghetti. (And it’s not like we didn’t use the horrible, plastic utensils that came with the set!)

To prevent this from happening to you, Abigail and Briana present their rules for equipping your kitchen:

1. You don’t have to drop a million dollars, but also don’t get the cheapest option available when buying pots and pans. It’s hard to spend money when you’re a poor college student, but it’s probably cheaper in the long run than replacing your entire kitchen every six months.

2. No Teflon. Exceptions: Muffin tins and pancake griddles. Having non-Teflon pans helps with the precision of your cooking.

3. Buy good knives. If you have 2 top quality knives, they can replace all the other knives in your kitchen.

4. Buy tongs. Don’t forgo the tongs just because you don’t want to spend another $10 on kitchen accessories. They will be of more use than you originally thought.

5. Have multiple cutting boards. More multi-tasking capabilities.

6. Buy an electric mixer. Abigail has a stand mixer, but a handheld one works just as well.

7. Get a good toaster. You will cry over burnt toast less.

8. Have a pasta pot.

We can not appreciate the time we spend together enough. College is a short period in our lives when almost everything we need and most everyone we love resides within the same small space. 

Every night Briana and Abigail hug each other good bye and say “I’ll see you tomorrow!” As Abigail was driving two of their other friends home last night, she left them with the same promise. I will see you tomorrow. Somewhere in the next 24 hours my soul will be graced by your presence. How many more seconds minutes hours days months years will we be able to promise that?

In no way do we mean that question with a morbid or negative connotation. We are merely saying that each day when you can make that promise is wonderful. It is an opportunity not to be wasted. It is a chance to make magic and love happen again and again. We would like to urge you to make that promise at every chance you get. If you had the chance to be the happiest you’ve ever been, every day, wouldn’t you take it?

I will see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will make dinner with you.

Tomorrow I will go to the bank with you.

Tomorrow we will get groceries.

Tomorrow I will hug you.

Tomorrow we will sing together.

Tomorrow I will appreciate you.

Tomorrow we will be happy.

I will hold you,

and believe in you.

Tomorrow we will dance around the kitchen.

Tomorrow we will walk to class together.

Tomorrow we will go on an adventure.

We will laugh 

and grow

and be joyous.

Tomorrow I will love you.

I will be everything you need me to be. 

I will shout to the heavens in my joy

and thank the stars that you are in my life.

Tomorrow sounds like a wonderful day. 

1. They are warm: human heating blankets.

2. Their voices vibrate deep in their chests, and, if you hold them, you feel their voices before you hear them.

3.  Their clothes are comfy to wear.

4. Penises are fun to hold.

5. So are balls.

6. The space between their heads and shoulders is perfectly shaped for your head.

7.  They never realize how cute their butts are.

8. Manbacks.

9. Mannecks.

10. They are adorable when they sleep.

11. Manshoulders. 

12. Again: Manshoulders. 

13: They think we’re not listening.

14. How their eyes light up when you tell them you love them.

15. How their eyes light up when you ask what they want for dinner.

16. They’re cute when they do their homework.

17. We love watching them shave…their faces.

18. It’s so sexy when they speak in other languages.

19. Their hands are rough. 

20. They are able to balance the tender act of holding you and the force of holding you with intention.

Hopefully, this never needs to happen, but, if it does, you know he’s devoted.  He deserves sexy time after that UTI clears up.

These include, but are not limited to:

1: sleepy

2: overdosing on Benadryl

3: slipping out of the shower

4: passing out from an incredibly painful UTI

5: bathroom floor sex

6: too much bleach

7: being knocked unconscious by the Head and Shoulders falling from a rickety shower shelf

8: you’re too dirty to sleep in your own bed.

And last but not least, 

9: Alcohol.